Positive Thinking Strategies
When I was thinking about topics for our blog, I paused to think, “What does everyone really NEED right now?” My mind wandered to this new chapter of the pandemic, and school fast approaching. And I realized what we need most is to find a way STAY POSITIVE! So here is some helpful information about the power of positive thinking, as well as strategies to help you and your kiddo promote positivity in your lives when you need it most.
Why is optimism so important?
There is so much scientific data out there to back up the incredible benefits of having a positive attitude. Below is a handful of those.
Helps with longevity - Results of a new study indicate those with a more optimistic outlook lived approx. 15% longer than those who did not (1)
Helps with maintaining healthy relationships - Optimists have longer, more satisfying relationships (2)
Helps with performance - in school, athletics, etc.
Helps keep you focused on what's important - rather than spinning
Helps protect teens from depression (3)
Helps with a better physical health
What about people who are not naturally positive?
You may be worried because a positive outlook may not come naturally to you or your child. This is normal, and not something to worry about. It's been proven that optimism is only 25% genetic, which means 75% of it is learned! (4) So, it is absolutely possible for all of us to infuse habits into our lives to become more positive.
“How can I LEARN to be more positive and help advise my adolescent?”
Below are some great ideas to share with them. Please make it a goal to go through these with your child sometime soon. We all know the tart of a new school year may induce some negative vibes in the household. Not every strategy will work for everyone, so ask your child to ponder what might be best for THEM.
Resist the negative self fulfilling prophecy. Start noticing thought patterns, and purposefully become less fixed and more OPEN.
Do you or your kiddo view setbacks as permanent OR temporary?
A FIXED, negative mindset could actually make outcomes worse.
If you’ve convinced yourself you “can’t do it” you won't work hard at making it better.
On the other hand, someone who focuses on what CAN be done to help will feel empowered by the solutions and potential to get better
See the difference? So start to notice which patterns show up and encourage focus on that open mindset that sees the big picture rather than a fixed mindset that uses absolutes like, “I’ll NEVER get better.”
Make an effort to enjoy what you are doing regardless of the outcome. This may involve REFRAMING, or pushing yourself to see the positive aspects even when they are not obvious.
If you tend to view things critically, switch that up. Ask yourself - what went right? What are the opportunities to learn, or make it even better?
Remember - perfection is nearly impossible, so let yourself fail or mess up. You will learn how to be better in a meaningful way that takes all sides of the situation into account.
A good attitude and staying positive helps you enjoy what you are doing MORE.
Keep a journal to help maintain positivity and the right attitude.
Be inspiring to yourself. Journal about your ideas, dreams and things you love. Start getting deeper into the really good ideas with some details and steps. Writing your ideas down helps you make them come to life!
Record what you are grateful for, and include your awesome talents. Studies actually show that those who make a habit out of thinking about what’s great in their life or what they are grateful for are more happy, get better sleep, and helps relieve depressive symptoms. Gotta love that!
Surround yourself with the right people. Afterall, emotions are actually contagious - just like a yawn! (5)
Take note of friends, peers and family that lift you up, believe in you, focus on the positive. Make it a priority to get plenty of time with these important members of your tribe.
Conversely, notice those who chronically focus on the negative, criticize others, or even tend to say things that hurt you. Definitely avoid spending large amounts of time with these people. This can be tough, but that’s when you’ll need to work on how to set boundaries with friends. Express what you need from the relationship and be ok with whatever reaction you get.
Set reasonable goals for yourself. This sets you up for success and helps you feel confident through achievement. You’ll find yourself saying, “Yes, I can get this done!”
If your goals are too lofty or unrealistic, you're setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. Adolescent brains process stress at a much more heightened level than adult brains, so making thiss shoft c make heuge difference for them.
Be realistic - if you want to start working out, start small and light and gradually work up to a bigger goal - but OVER TIME.
Exercise! Do! Get moving! Not only is exercising good for your body, but science has reinforced how it;s also great for your mind and getting in the right headspace.
When you work out or move your body, your brain releases endorphins.
These are “happy hormones” that get your mindset moving in the right direction.
Other great benefits of exercise are that it can boost confidence and alleviate stress.
Combat negative mind chatter head on. We all have this happen, but what makes the biggest difference in how the chatter impacts mental health is how you REACT to it. You’ll be able to stay more positive in general if you notice when the chatter happens. STOP and do one of these things…
Do some mental time travel. Ask yourself, “How will I feel about this thing 6 - 9 mos from now?” This reinforces the TEMPORARY nature of negative situations - which gives us HOPE. Yay!
Talk to yourself in the third person. It’s been proven that when you talk about yourself this way it changes perspective aand allows you to think about yourself more objectively.
Use the power of positive visualization. Think of this as a mental rehearsal. Positive visualization can actually make you more determined to make the positive outcome happen. This is how it works:
Focus on the situation causing the negative chatter in your head that you want to change or goal you want to achieve.
THEN imagine the steps it will take to make that happen.
Get as detailed as you want.
Do this in your head OR if this is something you will need to actually practice, you might want to write it down in that journal or wherever works for you.
Definitely ADD emotion and feeling to your visualization. Imagine you’re performing or speaking with incredible confidence. This helps your brain build muscle memory for feelings of confidence.
Go through the whole process all the way to the end when you see success.
Then REPEAT, repeat repeat.
An example for your teen might relate to negative chatter about the first day of school. Have them positively visualize how the day looks so it can be more happy than negative.
Wake up in time to get a good breakfast.
Ride to school with positive friend/s.
Think of great things to talk about during that ride,
Imagine confidently walking into classes.
Imagine paying attention in each class
Smiling when meeting teachers.
Think if ways to get through the halls that make it easier to navigate
Then picture the ride home with smiles as you recap the day.
Well, I’ve sufficiently blathered about the power of positive thinking. I’m passionate about this topic as you can tell. I look forward to hearing from you whether this has helped you and your child. Talk soon!
SOURCES:
Lee LO, James P, Zevon ES, et al. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. 2019;116(37):18357.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Vol. 91, No. 1)
Xiaochun Xie, Xingchao Wang - Child Ind Res (2018) 11:1531–1544
Kim ES, Hagan KA, Grodstein F, DeMeo DL, De Vivo I, Kubzansky LD. Optimism and Cause-Specific Mortality: A Prospective Cohort Study. Am J Epidemiol. 2017;185(1):21-29.
Scientific American Mind 23, 3, 72 (July 2012)
