REFRAMING SELF ESTEEM: Self Compassion Exercises
Emphasize interconnection rather than separateness - Kristin D. Neff
What really is the difference between self-esteem and self compassion? The difference really lies in the focus. Many people are familiar with self-esteem, which by definition refers to the degree to which we evaluate ourselves positively. It represents how much we like or value ourselves, and is often based on comparisons with others. In contrast, self-compassion is NOT based on judgments or evaluations, it is a way of relating to ourselves. People feel self-compassion because they are human beings, not because they are special and above average.
Practicing self compassion Exercises
Self compassion allows for a greater understanding of yourself, and therefore provides you with knowledge. And we all know that knowledge - especially self knowledge, or awareness - is power! So, how can you shift the focus from self-esteem to self compassion? There are many fun techniques out there, but we've captured some of our favorites self compassion exercise that you can try. Please enjoy and BE OPEN!
Take a Few Minutes Each Week
This will seem uncomfortable at first. You may even find yourself making fun of it. But stick with it, and you will have an important new tool to get out of slumps, which inevitably occur.
Practice self kindness instead of self judgment
Practicing self kindness involves being compassionate and understanding towards oneself, rather than judging and criticizing oneself harshly. This means treating oneself with the same compassion, kindness, care, and understanding that one would extend to a good friend. It involves acknowledging and accepting one's own feelings, flaws, and limitations, and working to improve oneself in a healthy and positive manner.
Self kindness can help to build self-esteem, reduce stress and anxiety, and improve mental health. It is an important component of self-care and can play a role in helping individuals to feel more balanced and fulfilled in life.
Start with a Good Foundation
Capture your strengths
Also capture unique things you like about yourself
Put these somewhere accessible to yourself, and look at these lists regularly; put a reminder on your phone, create a recurring calendar invite or flag a page in a journal
Journal about your negative thoughts - then review them. If you overcome them try lighting that journal entry on fire and letting it go (be SAFE of course!).
During Times of Self-Doubt, Do Something About it!
Friends and family are always effective go-to's for venting and advice. But what about starting to rely on yourself more? This might seem super weird to you at first, but it's effective if you give it a try. You'll be surprised at how good you are at knowing what YOU need!
Take A Self Compassion Break
A self-compassion break is a short, structured exercise that helps individuals gain self-compassion. It can be helpful when one is experiencing negative emotions and struggling with self pity or negative self talk . To take a self-compassion break, find a quiet and comfortable place to sit or lie down. Take a few deep breaths and try to relax your body.
Bring to mind a difficult situation or challenge that you are facing, and remind yourself that everyone has struggles and it is a normal part of life. Offer yourself some words of kindness and understanding, such as "It's okay to struggle," or "I'm doing the best I can right now." Take a few more deep breaths and try to let go of self-judgment. This self compassion practice can be repeated as needed throughout the day to help gain self-compassion.
Keep a Self Compassion Journal!
Write Yourself a Letter. Here are three formats to try:
Think of an imaginary friend or mentor who is unconditionally wise, loving, and compassionate and write a letter to yourself from the perspective of your friend.
Write a letter as if you were talking to a dearly beloved friend who was struggling with the same concerns as you.
Write a letter from the compassionate part of yourself to the part of yourself that is struggling.
Practice Loving kindness meditation
It is a type of meditation that involves silently repeating phrases of well-wishing to oneself and others. It is based on the idea of cultivating compassion, love, and kindness towards oneself and others. During a loving kindness meditation, one sits in a comfortable position with their eyes closed and focuses on the breath. The meditation begins by silently repeating phrases of well-wishing to oneself, such as "may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be at peace." The meditation then expands to include loved ones, acquaintances, and eventually all beings.
The intention is to develop feelings of love and kindness towards oneself and others. Loving kindness meditation can help to increase positive emotions, reduce stress and anxiety, and improve overall well-being. It is a simple and accessible practice that can be incorporated into daily life.
Record Yourself. You can use the Voice Memos app or whatever is easy.
Take a minute to record the negative thoughts. All of them.
Then listen as an objective mentor and record your response / advice.
Then listen as yourself again, and continue to vent / ask questions to the mentor version of you.
Repeat until you feel settled. If you have a big AH-HA moment, be sure to capture it somewhere. Take note of how hearing advice from yourself makes you feel. :)
We hope you enjoy exploring self compassion. It's important to practice self compassion or mindful self compassion so we catch ourselves when we're being a huge jerk to ourselves. And more importantly, that you revisit this all frequently!
